Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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