She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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