I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
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