I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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