thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize