Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
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