Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Randomize
