ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
