I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
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