My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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