you win again, gameday.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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