I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
