just come out here and I will go home with you...
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize