I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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