am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I just gargled with NyQuil
Randomize
