In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Randomize