it's too hot outside to masturbate.
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
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