CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize
