smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
