oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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