Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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