I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
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