Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Randomize
