Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
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