evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
