I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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