I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
