It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
