there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Randomize
