I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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