Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Randomize