I like my sex mixed with concussions.
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
Randomize
