god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize