fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Oh god it's open bar.
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