he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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