you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
Randomize
