i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Randomize
