so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Randomize
