it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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