Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
