I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
