Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Randomize
