The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Randomize
