I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
