Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
