and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize