So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
