After last night, I could never be a politician.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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