I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
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