It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
