do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
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