is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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