so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
