I wannas sexs uuuuu
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
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