He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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