Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Randomize
