his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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