He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
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